










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2932 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2102 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3063 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1853 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,883 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolverine Enjoyer | 55% | 233 |
| #2 | A kilogram of feather | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Z3n | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | ◢ Hunt3rz ◤ | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | Private | 49% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢ Hunt3rz ◤ | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Wolverine Enjoyer | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Z3n | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Private | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | PandaNinja | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolverine Enjoyer | 282 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Private | 244 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | PandaNinja | 234 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ◢ Hunt3rz ◤ | 147 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Z3n | 76 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolverine Enjoyer | +2.53 | 59 | 48 |
| #2 | X | +0.39 | 45 | 69 |
| #3 | Z3n | -0.05 | 67 | 32 |
| #4 | PandaNinja | -0.25 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | A kilogram of feather | -0.70 | 45 | 58 |





