








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Esplay | 23 matches | 1,986 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 754 | 19% |
| Smokes | 887 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1393 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,420 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiger-Toby | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Samppa | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | GMee | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | God of Fire | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | mADR | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GMee | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | God of Fire | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | mADR | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | toMi | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Mylläri | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samppa | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mylläri | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tiger-Toby | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | God of Fire | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | toMi | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GMee | +5.66 | 92 | 77 |
| #2 | Samppa | +3.46 | 87 | 82 |
| #3 | Tiger-Toby | +2.24 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Mylläri | +2.10 | 82 | 53 |
| #5 | God of Fire | +0.23 | 62 | 64 |





