








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 993 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 381 matches | ||
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16263 | 38% |
| Smokes | 11237 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9570 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5563 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,930 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 979 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JUQI | 49% | 253 |
| #4 | Nåtta | 49% | 291 |
| #5 | Nurkkala ☘ | 47% | 93 |
| #6 | KeiMummy | 47% | 142 |
| #7 | Chade | 44% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeiMummy | 347 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nåtta | 323 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Chade | 281 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | JUQI | 158 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nurkkala ☘ | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |





