










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 887 | 23% |
| Smokes | 870 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1156 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,568 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeric | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | Brad Pitt | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | ob | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | LostTheGame | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeric | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | Brad Pitt | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | ob | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | LostTheGame | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kemosabe | 14 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Xeric | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ob | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | LostTheGame | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Brad Pitt | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kemosabe | 143 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Xeric | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | LostTheGame | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Brad Pitt | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ob | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LostTheGame | +2.21 | 55 | 70 |
| #2 | Xeric | +1.07 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Zappcz | +0.70 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Kemosabe | +0.56 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | ob | -2.24 | 31 | 33 |





