










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 406 | 24% |
| Smokes | 370 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 495 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 409 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,616 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zappcz | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | ob | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Xeric | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | LostTheGame | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zappcz | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | ob | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Xeric | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | LostTheGame | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ob | 5 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Xeric | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | LostTheGame | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Zappcz | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeric | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kemosabe | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zappcz | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ob | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | LostTheGame | 13 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LostTheGame | +2.22 | 51 | 74 |
| #2 | Xeric | +2.13 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Kemosabe | +0.65 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | ob | -0.66 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | Zappcz | -0.98 | 73 | 60 |





