








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1040 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,590 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThePilon | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | BinBan | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | ⛟ Chantel Jeffries | 49% | 207 |
| #4 | sau | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | ohstrang | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Chantel Jeffries | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ThePilon | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sau | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ohstrang | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | BinBan | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Chantel Jeffries | 595 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | ThePilon | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | sau | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ohstrang | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | BinBan | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Chantel Jeffries | +2.75 | 60 | 57 |
| #2 | sau | -0.03 | 81 | 45 |
| #3 | ThePilon | -0.44 | 57 | 40 |
| #4 | Jordan | -0.44 | 63 | 38 |
| #5 | BinBan | -0.70 | 73 | 43 |





