








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1276 | 49% |
| Smokes | 597 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 112 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,710 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kintrum | 37% | 71 |
| #7 | XenoBorf | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Silly Billy | 34% | 47 |
| #9 | ILoveMen | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | Kermit the burnt up | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kintrum | 19 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | obrecheny | 17 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | Silly Billy | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | PsychoticSlash | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | ILoveMen | 2 | 0.0051 |





