








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 25% |
| Smokes | 433 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 432 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,654 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1rva | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | allu:p | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | SUPER MAX | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Laprastab | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Pommihälytysmimmi😛 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | keTzu | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | vilbe | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | leinaD | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | .niska | 14% | 7 |
| #11 | J-_- | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keTzu | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPER MAX | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | S1rva | 28 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | Laprastab | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | .niska | 20 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pommihälytysmimmi😛 | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1rva | +6.84 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | J-_- | +5.06 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | allu:p | +3.07 | 77 | 71 |
| #4 | Matz😀 | +2.17 | 95 | 64 |
| #5 | Kossu72 | +0.72 | 90 | 66 |





