








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 855 | 27% |
| Smokes | 860 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 602 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,713 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuddyB | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | a7om1k | 75% | 36 |
| #3 | uni | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | hoax | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | ✪ Sham | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SolGoat | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | yATOS | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | stuffs | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | denz | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | Pr0misee | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a7om1k | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | SolGoat | 3 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | stuffs | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | ✪ Sham | 3 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | hoax | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xcaptain | 100 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | a7om1k | 97 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | SolGoat | 64 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | yATOS | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BuddyB | 40 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a7om1k | +6.01 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Noname | +2.94 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | ✪ Sham | +2.91 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | Xcaptain | +1.21 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | BuddyB | +1.15 | 85 | 68 |





