








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6452 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6621 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4228 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4458 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,141 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 660 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | 79% | 33 |
| #2 | noah | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | Kosmikk | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | matz | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | 7 inch Plumber | 54% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 7 inch Plumber | 54% | 197 |
| #6 | Plant 🍃 | 54% | 28 |
| #7 | NoobGetier.aT | 53% | 169 |
| #8 | larv9n | 51% | 43 |
| #9 | xFloww | 46% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 inch Plumber | 36 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | NoobGetier.aT | 33 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | noah | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | xFloww | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | matz | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 inch Plumber | 387 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | matz | 300 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | NoobGetier.aT | 245 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | xFloww | 218 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | polle | 159 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | +3.64 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | larv9n | +1.33 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | DubG | +0.50 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | noah | +0.40 | 67 | 35 |
| #5 | 7 inch Plumber | +0.21 | 64 | 53 |





