








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 2,102 | |
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2779 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2994 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2454 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2077 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $733,203 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KOWABUNGA! | 58% | 218 |
| #5 | ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC! | 58% | 38 |
| #6 | simomo | 58% | 106 |
| #7 | JEBS | 56% | 81 |
| #8 | MISTY | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOWABUNGA! | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | simomo | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | JEBS | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC! | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | セオ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOWABUNGA! | 874 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | simomo | 475 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | セオ | 272 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | JEBS | 229 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | nasty. | 142 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4sMus | +3.87 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | simomo | +2.00 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | nasty. | -0.03 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | セオ | -0.19 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | KOWABUNGA! | -0.80 | 63 | 73 |





