








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1763 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2524 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,272 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goouigi | 51% | 168 |
| #2 | $hawSa | 50% | 155 |
| #3 | Deku :3 | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | ShawtySean | 39% | 70 |
| #5 | misterturdel | 38% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku :3 | 49 | 0.0470 |
| #2 | misterturdel | 22 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | ShawtySean | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Goouigi | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | $hawSa | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goouigi | 167 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | $hawSa | 154 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | ShawtySean | 130 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | misterturdel | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Deku :3 | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku :3 | +2.92 | 79 | 33 |
| #2 | $hawSa | +1.54 | 48 | 49 |
| #3 | Goouigi | +0.96 | 56 | 49 |
| #4 | ShawtySean | +0.29 | 64 | 39 |
| #5 | misterturdel | -0.35 | 50 | 39 |





