








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4342 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2532 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1210 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2162 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,524 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japrambo | 47% | 203 |
| #2 | statesjs | 44% | 144 |
| #3 | LooYoung | 42% | 86 |
| #4 | Addarict | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Hayden :) | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | statesjs | 44% | 144 |
| #3 | LooYoung | 42% | 86 |
| #4 | Addarict | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Hayden :) | 40% | 20 |
| #6 | cthulhu | 33% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japrambo | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | cthulhu | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | statesjs | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | LooYoung | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Hayden :) | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japrambo | 703 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | statesjs | 312 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | LooYoung | 152 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | cthulhu | 115 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hayden :) | 60 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japrambo | +1.73 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Beelzebozo | +0.47 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | statesjs | -0.84 | 47 | 60 |
| #4 | LooYoung | -1.24 | 41 | 36 |
| #5 | Hayden :) | -1.42 | 53 | 50 |





