








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 23% |
| Smokes | 547 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 124 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 193 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,573 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statesjs | 43% | 54 |
| #2 | Addarict | 40% | 15 |
| #3 | Japrambo | 34% | 64 |
| #4 | Beelzebozo | 33% | 66 |
| #5 | LooYoung | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statesjs | 43% | 54 |
| #2 | Addarict | 40% | 15 |
| #3 | Japrambo | 34% | 64 |
| #4 | Beelzebozo | 33% | 66 |
| #5 | LooYoung | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statesjs | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Japrambo | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Beelzebozo | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | LooYoung | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beelzebozo | 287 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Japrambo | 209 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | statesjs | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | LooYoung | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Addarict | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japrambo | +1.68 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | Beelzebozo | +0.78 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | LooYoung | -0.19 | 37 | 32 |
| #4 | statesjs | -0.51 | 42 | 54 |
| #5 | cthulhu | -1.24 | 71 | 27 |





