










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4385 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2814 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2324 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3188 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,302,967 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ckkeef69 | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | zeph | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | jhop | 45% | 99 |
| #4 | Explicit | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ckkeef69 | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | zeph | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | jhop | 45% | 99 |
| #4 | Explicit | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Explicit | 8 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | zeph | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | jhop | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ckkeef69 | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | 343 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | jhop | 287 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Explicit | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ckkeef69 | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | +1.54 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | stump stalker | +0.82 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | ckkeef69 | +0.44 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | Explicit | +0.41 | 56 | 49 |
| #5 | jhop | -3.37 | 33 | 40 |





