








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1671 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1649 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,482 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 774 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CGM007 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Baked | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | NUKEZ | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | IncogNegro | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | JawaZo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IncogNegro | 354 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | JawaZo | 271 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | CGM007 | 187 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Baked | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | NUKEZ | 109 | 0.18 | 3 min |





