








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 42% |
| Smokes | 829 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,750 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schwimmy | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | NUKEZ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Baked | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | CGM007 | 38% | 85 |
| #5 | BATH SALTS YEET | 37% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NUKEZ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Baked | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | CGM007 | 38% | 85 |
| #5 | BATH SALTS YEET | 37% | 101 |
| #6 | JawaZo | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CGM007 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | BATH SALTS YEET | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Baked | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | JawaZo | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | NUKEZ | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CGM007 | 90 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Baked | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | BATH SALTS YEET | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | JawaZo | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | NUKEZ | 61 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JawaZo | +2.85 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | CGM007 | +0.09 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | Baked | -0.46 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | BATH SALTS YEET | -0.47 | 39 | 51 |
| #5 | IncogNegro | -0.68 | 39 | 57 |





