








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 434 | 26% |
| Smokes | 671 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 339 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 211 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,161 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iron_Mine | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | MeetTheSpy | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | m0mo_69 | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Loutreee | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | EpiQzZ | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | m0mo_69 | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Loutreee | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | EpiQzZ | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | 𝙂𝙂𝙂 iZeyyy! | 33% | 24 |
| #7 | Scipix | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpiQzZ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | 𝙂𝙂𝙂 iZeyyy! | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpiQzZ | 154 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Scipix | 132 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𝙂𝙂𝙂 iZeyyy! | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | m0mo_69 | 35 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Iron_Mine | 30 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loutreee | +2.01 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | EpiQzZ | +0.27 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Twistere | -0.10 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | Scipix | -0.53 | 63 | 77 |
| #5 | 𝙂𝙂𝙂 iZeyyy! | -0.73 | 59 | 58 |





