








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 693 | 32% |
| Smokes | 576 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 381 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,321 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Alex | 39% | 57 |
| #9 | KlappmesserToni | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | putin bad | 29% | 7 |
| #11 | DannyDEcaprio | 14% | 14 |
| #12 | Nyango ☆ | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabe | 135 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Deu7 | 110 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alex | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | putin bad | 32 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | B4rdly | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlappmesserToni | +2.54 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | putin bad | +2.44 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Deu7 | +1.83 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | LarsT | +0.88 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | Nyango ☆ | +0.59 | 54 | 71 |





