










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 874 | 31% |
| Smokes | 968 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 308 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $689,189 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | eriksen | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | støkker | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Wangen | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eriksen | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | fab | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | lurven | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Wangen | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | 349 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | eriksen | 314 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | fab | 171 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | lurven | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | støkker | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eriksen | +2.59 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | ❤✪♛KaKe er godt♛✪❤ | +2.42 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | fab | +1.29 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | JENNY @nomonitor@nosound | +0.40 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | lurven | -0.31 | 75 | 53 |





