








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3055 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2390 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,660,787 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1058 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorPHium | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | JK | 54% | 362 |
| #3 | ✪|dope | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | ٴTenma | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Quagmire 💲TRADING SKINS💲 | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorPHium | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | JK | 54% | 362 |
| #3 | ✪|dope | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | ٴTenma | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Quagmire 💲TRADING SKINS💲 | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JK | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MorPHium | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ٴTenma | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JK | 555 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | MorPHium | 324 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | ٴTenma | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Quagmire 💲TRADING SKINS💲 | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪|dope | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S4lty | +4.04 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | MorPHium | -0.18 | 41 | 57 |
| #3 | Quagmire 💲TRADING SKINS💲 | -0.79 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | JK | -0.91 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | ٴTenma | -1.34 | 62 | 64 |





