










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 20% |
| Smokes | 448 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,098 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mauglis | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Vixzy | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | [ステッカー] | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | wekfjo | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | adb | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [ステッカー] | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | wekfjo | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | adb | 65% | 20 |
| #6 | Kp:) | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | BOB | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vixzy | 5 | 0.0222 |
| #2 | Kp:) | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Mauglis | 2 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | adb | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | [ステッカー] | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adb | 61 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kp:) | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | [ステッカー] | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vixzy | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | wekfjo | 17 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wekfjo | +3.33 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Vixzy | +1.28 | 44 | 48 |
| #3 | Kp:) | +0.99 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | BOB | +0.75 | 89 | 55 |
| #5 | sveirk | +0.71 | 57 | 57 |





