








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1355 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1742 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1944 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1209 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,865 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snusenberg | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Hans-Peter | 57% | 74 |
| #3 | karlツ | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | NeV ジ | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Bajsboxarn | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NeV ジ | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Bajsboxarn | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Johnny | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | mArcus | 47% | 81 |
| #8 | strykm4n | 45% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans-Peter | 26 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | karlツ | 12 | 0.0278 |
| #3 | mArcus | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | strykm4n | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Snusenberg | 6 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans-Peter | 173 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | strykm4n | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | NeV ジ | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | karlツ | 105 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johnny | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny | +3.65 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | NeV ジ | +0.98 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | sussy_consumer | +0.34 | 51 | 45 |
| #4 | karlツ | +0.26 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | Hans-Peter | +0.16 | 74 | 49 |





