








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 2,212 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1580 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1603 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,495 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Lars | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | wakkeee | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Tex | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Purge | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Lars | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | wakkeee | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Tex | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Purge | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Lars | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | wakkeee | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Tex | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Lars | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Purge | 75 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tex | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | wakkeee | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gejl | +3.68 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | wakkeee | +1.04 | 77 | 28 |
| #3 | Tex | +0.62 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | Daddy Lars | -0.91 | 68 | 42 |
| #5 | Purge | -6.76 | 8 | 46 |





