








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1735 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,655 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggo | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | ruberino | 52% | 164 |
| #3 | AWM ツ | 51% | 172 |
| #4 | Ultim8ZedD | 46% | 198 |
| #5 | inolen | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ruberino | 52% | 164 |
| #3 | AWM ツ | 51% | 172 |
| #4 | Ultim8ZedD | 46% | 198 |
| #5 | inolen | 40% | 15 |
| #6 | Dogwater | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultim8ZedD | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | AWM ツ | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ruberino | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Doggo | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | inolen | 3 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultim8ZedD | 491 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | ruberino | 385 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | AWM ツ | 210 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Doggo | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dogwater | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dZϟ | +1.39 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | Doggo | +1.34 | 77 | 47 |
| #3 | Ultim8ZedD | +0.46 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | inolen | -0.57 | 40 | 52 |
| #5 | ruberino | -0.61 | 45 | 61 |





