








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 794 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1545 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3730 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4432 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3489 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,618 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2049 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Banana | 45% | 526 |
| #2 | Timatio1 | 42% | 160 |
| #3 | BeeKeeperSteph | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Banana | 45% | 526 |
| #2 | Timatio1 | 42% | 160 |
| #3 | BeeKeeperSteph | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timatio1 | 30 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Dankest Banana | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | BeeKeeperSteph | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Banana | 75 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #2 | Timatio1 | 55 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Billnana | +1.45 | 64 | 42 |
| #2 | Dankest Banana | -0.99 | 63 | 20 |
| #3 | Timatio1 | -2.00 | 16 | 24 |
| #4 | BeeKeeperSteph | -4.69 | 25 | 4 |





