










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 7% |
| Smokes | 4110 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2108 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3016 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,378,082 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1829 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Banana | 45% | 255 |
| #2 | Dankest Billnana | 42% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Banana | 45% | 255 |
| #2 | Dankest Billnana | 42% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Billnana | 38 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Dankest Banana | 10 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Billnana | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dankest Banana | 38 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankest Billnana | +1.12 | 65 | 42 |
| #2 | Dankest Banana | -0.13 | 66 | 22 |
| #3 | Timatio1 | -1.04 | 29 | 30 |





