








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10352 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5841 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6700 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5445 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,096 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfessorDrKinese | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | [Greed]FELOX THE STAMPEDE | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | BMW PEEK EL DRIFTO | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | ZyklopenKlopper187 | Tedispezial | 46% | 142 |
| #5 | DrFunny | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfessorDrKinese | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | [Greed]FELOX THE STAMPEDE | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | BMW PEEK EL DRIFTO | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | ZyklopenKlopper187 | Tedispezial | 46% | 142 |
| #5 | DrFunny | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyklopenKlopper187 | Tedispezial | 24 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | [Greed]FELOX THE STAMPEDE | 20 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | ProfessorDrKinese | 11 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | DrFunny | 9 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | BMW PEEK EL DRIFTO | 8 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyklopenKlopper187 | Tedispezial | 539 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | [Greed]FELOX THE STAMPEDE | 200 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | ProfessorDrKinese | 154 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | BMW PEEK EL DRIFTO | 138 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | DrFunny | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfessorDrKinese | +4.03 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | DrFunny | +2.25 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | BMW PEEK EL DRIFTO | +2.01 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | bartO | +1.96 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | [Greed]FELOX THE STAMPEDE | +0.44 | 54 | 48 |





