








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3161 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2165 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,543 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤TheKoolaidMan | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | WaterBottle | 52% | 102 |
| #4 | MintyPetrichor | 51% | 94 |
| #5 | Morph | 50% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | WaterBottle | 52% | 102 |
| #4 | MintyPetrichor | 51% | 94 |
| #5 | Morph | 50% | 103 |
| #6 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | ✪poonslap | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪poonslap | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | WaterBottle | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | MintyPetrichor | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Morph | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morph | 736 | 0.35 | 20 min |
| #2 | MintyPetrichor | 594 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✪poonslap | 338 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 293 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | WaterBottle | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | +1.53 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | mingnin | +1.37 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | +0.84 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | WaterBottle | +0.30 | 78 | 41 |
| #5 | ✪poonslap | +0.12 | 79 | 58 |





