








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7089 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4423 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3819 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,433 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 70% | 46 |
| #2 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 61% | 183 |
| #3 | MintyPetrichor | 55% | 123 |
| #4 | WaterBottle | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | mingnin | 50% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MintyPetrichor | 55% | 123 |
| #4 | WaterBottle | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | mingnin | 50% | 103 |
| #6 | ⭕⃤TheKoolaidMan | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | ✪poonslap | 46% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | mingnin | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ✪poonslap | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | WaterBottle | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | 1000 | 0.28 | 26 min |
| #2 | MintyPetrichor | 666 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #3 | mingnin | 395 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✪poonslap | 234 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤TheKoolaidMan | 139 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bipp [NO MONITOR] | +1.41 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Zer0 | +1.39 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪poonslap | +0.44 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | MintyPetrichor | +0.38 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | mingnin | +0.25 | 77 | 59 |





