








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4158 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2901 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2140 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,500 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mijob | 55% | 170 |
| #2 | øKingu | 51% | 88 |
| #3 | sljuka | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | doKurca | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | Noctturno | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | øKingu | 51% | 88 |
| #3 | sljuka | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | doKurca | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | Noctturno | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Mijatovic | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mijob | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Noctturno | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | øKingu | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | doKurca | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | sljuka | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mijob | 714 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Noctturno | 389 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | øKingu | 249 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | doKurca | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | sljuka | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mijob | +3.66 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | Djukic | +1.56 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | øKingu | -0.45 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | Noctturno | -2.32 | 40 | 75 |
| #5 | doKurca | -2.59 | 63 | 51 |





