








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 32% |
| Smokes | 787 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 830 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 23 | 1% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,801 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get Deported | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | The_Crispy_Colonel | 49% | 117 |
| #3 | Cheeki Breeki | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get Deported | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | The_Crispy_Colonel | 49% | 117 |
| #3 | Cheeki Breeki | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Crispy_Colonel | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Get Deported | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Cheeki Breeki | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Crispy_Colonel | 219 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cheeki Breeki | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Get Deported | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Crispy_Colonel | +1.36 | 56 | 57 |
| #2 | Get Deported | +0.70 | 21 | 55 |
| #3 | Cheeki Breeki | -1.32 | 41 | 44 |
| #4 | Fash | -1.35 | 34 | 48 |





