








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7026 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7195 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8665 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5039 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,003,957 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONI | 66% | 119 |
| #2 | Dinkleberg | 59% | 334 |
| #3 | g1fts | 59% | 128 |
| #4 | trolla | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | Twigidy | 56% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dinkleberg | 59% | 334 |
| #3 | g1fts | 59% | 128 |
| #4 | trolla | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | Twigidy | 56% | 64 |
| #6 | General Gingras | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trolla | 19 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | Dinkleberg | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ONI | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | g1fts | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Twigidy | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dinkleberg | 786 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | g1fts | 316 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | ONI | 265 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | General Gingras | 263 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | trolla | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dinkleberg | +5.40 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | trolla | +4.62 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | ONI | +3.86 | 87 | 53 |
| #4 | g1fts | +1.04 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | Twigidy | -0.84 | 78 | 55 |





