








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 513 matches | ||
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
23810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11975 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12517 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 16774 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 11154 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,725,005 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0lyn | 1159 | 0.27 | 24 min |
| #2 | g1fts | 881 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #3 | General Gingras | 776 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #4 | ONI | 774 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #5 | Mingyung | 485 | 0.07 | 10 min |





