








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 45% |
| Smokes | 21 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 678 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,628 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Ek- | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | masai:D | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | IctJew | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | TäYsKasK0 | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | anni.exe | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Ek- | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | masai:D | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | IctJew | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | TäYsKasK0 | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | anni.exe | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masai:D | 12 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | TäYsKasK0 | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | -Ek- | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | anni.exe | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masai:D | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | TäYsKasK0 | 137 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | -Ek- | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | IctJew | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | anni.exe | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IctJew | +6.05 | 89 | 47 |
| #2 | -Ek- | +5.91 | 86 | 41 |
| #3 | masai:D | +5.04 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | TäYsKasK0 | -1.01 | 28 | 55 |
| #5 | anni.exe | -1.16 | 50 | 36 |





