








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3494 | 33% |
| Smokes | 891 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 3298 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3042 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,634 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐:^) | 67% | 64 |
| #2 | Tekashi | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Nuorhosuja | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | DeeQ | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | ๐ดโฟแดพiแตแตสฐแตแต๐ | 54% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bucksi47k | 51% | 203 |
| #8 | Sivuluisu | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | Hiltza | 44% | 147 |
| #10 | JAKO | 43% | 46 |
| #11 | Antti | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiltza | 314 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bucksi47k | 290 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | ๐ดโฟแดพiแตแตสฐแตแต๐ | 238 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐:^) | 219 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | JAKO | 187 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐:^) | +4.00 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | IctJew | +1.61 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | Hiltza | +1.41 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | JAKO | +1.33 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | ๐ดโฟแดพiแตแตสฐแตแต๐ | +0.26 | 52 | 73 |





