








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,733 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof.Dr.Feinfinger | 46% | 56 |
| #2 | cutlz | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | runnr | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Flickadelle | 30% | 20 |
| #5 | pedda | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cutlz | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | runnr | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Flickadelle | 30% | 20 |
| #5 | pedda | 29% | 17 |
| #6 | raTTaTTaZONK | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutlz | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Prof.Dr.Feinfinger | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prof.Dr.Feinfinger | 237 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | runnr | 76 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | cutlz | 73 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | raTTaTTaZONK | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | pedda | 52 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutlz | +2.18 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Flickadelle | +0.74 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Prof.Dr.Feinfinger | +0.62 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | runnr | +0.53 | 67 | 79 |
| #5 | Spintec | +0.09 | 83 | 62 |





