








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1141 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1901 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1634 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,015 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magic | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | TEVO | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | beasley | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | shiv | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | kev | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ava | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | ✪ gonzo | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Willis | 44% | 63 |
| #9 | Dome Rock | 44% | 89 |
| #10 | Spike | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shiv | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Dome Rock | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Willis | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | beasley | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ✪ gonzo | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dome Rock | 435 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Willis | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | shiv | 112 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | TEVO | 49 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | magic | 42 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magic | +3.76 | 93 | 75 |
| #2 | TEVO | +1.36 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | beasley | +1.04 | 84 | 70 |
| #4 | Willis | +0.86 | 90 | 65 |
| #5 | Dome Rock | -0.28 | 62 | 73 |





