








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1387 | 52% |
| Smokes | 500 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 168 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,506 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kudryavka | 40% | 97 |
| #2 | ItsmeMaki | 40% | 25 |
| #3 | Miyano | 37% | 103 |
| #4 | HappenStance_ | 30% | 30 |
| #5 | Minuet | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kudryavka | 40% | 97 |
| #2 | ItsmeMaki | 40% | 25 |
| #3 | Miyano | 37% | 103 |
| #4 | HappenStance_ | 30% | 30 |
| #5 | Minuet | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyano | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kudryavka | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ItsmeMaki | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyano | 379 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kudryavka | 221 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ItsmeMaki | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | HappenStance_ | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Minuet | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsmeMaki | +3.09 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | Miyano | +1.79 | 29 | 53 |
| #3 | Kudryavka | +0.50 | 51 | 52 |
| #4 | HappenStance_ | -0.21 | 40 | 59 |
| #5 | Minuet | -0.21 | 30 | 62 |





