








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2505 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3466 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1879 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,393 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappenStance_ | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | D.RW; | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | huh | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | Miyano | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Kudryavka | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | HappenStance_ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Miyano | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Nezol | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer | 376 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Miyano | 245 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | HappenStance_ | 133 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | huh | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kudryavka | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.RW; | +3.27 | 30 | 55 |
| #2 | Miyano | +1.27 | 22 | 54 |
| #3 | HappenStance_ | +1.05 | 47 | 62 |
| #4 | Gamer | +1.01 | 41 | 39 |
| #5 | Kudryavka | +0.37 | 44 | 54 |





