








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5633 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4564 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5019 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4000 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,616,411 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | --Sniper-- | 61% | 83 |
| #2 | Mr.کatan | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Rebel_Fe | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Cornetto | 58% | 148 |
| #5 | Litterally on keyboard and mouse | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MI VERI SIMIA | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | zokkolo duro pro | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Cornetto | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Margass | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | SsjNoFeaR ♕ | 4 | 0.0019 |





