








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2331 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1644 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,961 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Cukii | 42% | 50 |
| #10 | ☆Viiruset6rje | 38% | 29 |
| #11 | Paul | 32% | 25 |
| #12 | Rumm | 27% | 15 |
| #13 | Dill Do | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iolks ツ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | NSX | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Cukii | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Mr.Max | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ☆Viiruset6rje | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iolks ツ | 195 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | ☆Viiruset6rje | 144 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | NSX | 79 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr.Max | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sasszera #Näpugod | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |





