








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1151 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1884 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1009 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,049 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not gay | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | teme | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Mc | 57% | 120 |
| #4 | Manatser | 55% | 73 |
| #5 | Lil Hamad | 54% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mc | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Manatser | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Lil Hamad | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | not gay | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mc | 343 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Manatser | 267 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lil Hamad | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | not gay | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | teme | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not gay | +3.90 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | teme | +3.17 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Mc | +1.95 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Lil Hamad | -1.01 | 44 | 45 |
| #5 | Turkia | -1.06 | 63 | 59 |





