








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
78 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 41 | 20% |
| Smokes | 86 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 52 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 28 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $13,822 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | hodn26 | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | PerAsperaAdAstra | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Ojama Bin Laden | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | kritzler9 | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kritzler9 | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ojama Bin Laden | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | Daddy | 12 | 0.32 | 0 min |
| #3 | kritzler9 | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪ why buy nades | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | PerAsperaAdAstra | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy | +3.65 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | PerAsperaAdAstra | +3.48 | 68 | 42 |
| #3 | kritzler9 | -0.14 | 65 | 33 |
| #4 | hodn26 | -0.94 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | ✪ why buy nades | -1.59 | 54 | 47 |





