








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 108 | 13% |
| Smokes | 169 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 283 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 249 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,129 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✪ why buy nades | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Ojama Bin Laden | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | hodn26 | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | PerAsperaAdAstra | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | Spleeny | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hodn26 | 5 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Ojama Bin Laden | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | PerAsperaAdAstra | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hodn26 | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪ why buy nades | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | PerAsperaAdAstra | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ojama Bin Laden | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Patryk | 17 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy | +3.65 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | s0mple | +2.76 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Patryk | +2.03 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | ✪ why buy nades | +1.93 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | PerAsperaAdAstra | +1.90 | 65 | 28 |





