








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 745 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2586 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2257 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2283 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,037,266 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MitchyBEAST | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Jake | 49% | 148 |
| #3 | BOT CL4RKY | 49% | 349 |
| #4 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 47% | 414 |
| #5 | aoura. | 45% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jake | 49% | 148 |
| #3 | BOT CL4RKY | 49% | 349 |
| #4 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 47% | 414 |
| #5 | aoura. | 45% | 132 |
| #6 | Collateral | 44% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collateral | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | BOT CL4RKY | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Jake | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | aoura. | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collateral | 629 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 517 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | BOT CL4RKY | 447 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | Jake | 329 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | MitchyBEAST | 139 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MitchyBEAST | +3.96 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | Josh GamerHD | +0.84 | 65 | 25 |
| #3 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | -0.08 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | Jake | -0.33 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Collateral | -0.92 | 37 | 66 |





