








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 667 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 173 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4621 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6485 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6623 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6121 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,497,770 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh GamerHD | 49% | 349 |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 48% | 636 |
| #3 | Collateral | 48% | 265 |
| #4 | Jake | 45% | 139 |
| #5 | aoura. | 45% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh GamerHD | 49% | 349 |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 48% | 636 |
| #3 | Collateral | 48% | 265 |
| #4 | Jake | 45% | 139 |
| #5 | aoura. | 45% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collateral | 23 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 18 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Josh GamerHD | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Jake | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | aoura. | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | 877 | 0.06 | 23 min |
| #2 | Collateral | 782 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | Jake | 296 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Josh GamerHD | 138 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | aoura. | 119 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh GamerHD | +0.89 | 64 | 25 |
| #2 | CottoN EyeD JoeL | +0.24 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Jake | -0.15 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Collateral | -0.84 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | BOT CL4RKY | -1.03 | 46 | 57 |





