








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 450 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6292 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5091 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3911 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3980 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,779,461 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Un)Em/Ployed | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Mitchell | 54% | 312 |
| #3 | potaot | 52% | 525 |
| #4 | Dead Death Ahead | 51% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Un)Em/Ployed | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Mitchell | 54% | 312 |
| #3 | potaot | 52% | 525 |
| #4 | Dead Death Ahead | 51% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | potaot | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Dead Death Ahead | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | (Un)Em/Ployed | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | potaot | 2307 | 0.20 | 63 min |
| #2 | Mitchell | 806 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | Dead Death Ahead | 683 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | (Un)Em/Ployed | 161 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchell | +3.75 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | (Un)Em/Ployed | +3.44 | 80 | 74 |
| #3 | Food | +1.09 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | Dead Death Ahead | -0.26 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | potaot | -2.96 | 32 | 67 |





