








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1688 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2111 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2927 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,019 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borja blajt gleich | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Heinz | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | Aco | 50% | 70 |
| #4 | Black | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | Don | 50% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Black | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | Don | 50% | 233 |
| #6 | Самурай191 | 49% | 144 |
| #7 | Edd0s | 47% | 189 |
| #8 | Panda | 46% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aco | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Edd0s | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Black | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Heinz | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Самурай191 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edd0s | 182 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Black | 73 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Heinz | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aco | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Самурай191 | 33 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don | +2.38 | 59 | 25 |
| #2 | Genex | +2.18 | 65 | 54 |
| #3 | Aco | +0.87 | 54 | 48 |
| #4 | Borja blajt gleich | +0.61 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | Black | -0.25 | 62 | 57 |





