








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3413 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 901 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,219 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | 1TapElite ⌖ | CrickJ=D | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | 1TapElite ⌖ | CrickJ=D | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | 1TapElite ⌖ | CrickJ=D | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | 1TapElite ⌖ | CrickJ=D | 28 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmie | +2.92 | 64 | 43 |
| #2 | inno | +2.05 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | 1TapElite ⌖ | CrickJ=D | -1.85 | 62 | 31 |





